Let them wonder how you're still smiling.

I cannot believe it.

I had been abandoning my baby blog for nearly a month.

I feel so bad, really.

As cliche as it sounds, time flies, it really does. Or maybe the fact that my lifestyle/daily routine for the past few weeks is pretty much the same plus nothing interesting or eventful happened all thanks to a really fucked up mid term examination.

Everyone's posting status on Facebook, posting tweets on Twitter, posting photos on Instagram about the end of exam. Lucky them. Despite the fact that I've prepared more than a month in advance, i screwed the exam thoroughly. It has been a downright hell for me. Every paper gets harder and harder, utterly crushing all my confidence and hopes.

I'm losing sleep, getting frequent headaches and dizziness, losing appetite then binging, and getting really bad skin, and then losing the battle against negative and unhappy thoughts. I am surprised that i am not dead yet.

I have three more papers to go, Paper 3 for the three pure science subject. I was told that previously students actually carry out those Biology, Chemistry and Physics experiments as a part of their examinations, it was a practical test back then but now the system changed and we have to freaking study loads of experiments and reports, you can say it's almost like a dictation. We usually receive tips from teachers for school exams, so we'll just memorize that particular experiment but i wonder how are we, okay, let me rephrase that, how am i (idk people around her are geniuses, seriously, i feel dumb all the times.) going to survive SPM when there would be zero tips at all. This is insane but I have loads of troubles to worry about before SPM right now so duh, let's forget about it first.

Although i did not update my blog, i still visit my own blog every now and then like how you stalk people online - idk if people actually do that to themselves or it's just me being vain whatever, nothing's ever going to change my love for my blog and that's it, the end, no further explanation needed - I found out that i get redirected to other spam websites and i cannot visit my site at all! I was horrified, yes, horrified, when i discovered that ! As i've said, i love my blog. I tried everything i could and did a lot of researches online - although i was having exam, which clearly proves that i care about my blog more than this damned examination - and there was bunch of articles and stuff but i couldn't understand much since there's so much specific terms and stuff that i have zero idea of but i just removed all the external gadgets i had on my blog so you see i do not have my facebook, twitter or instagram badge connected on my blog. I'll try to figure things out and re-link everything again in the holidays.

Before i end my post, i've got to share this.

It hit me right on the spot when i saw it on tumblr.

Yours,

Sheunny.